CRISIS OF IDENTIFICATION (Mark Mohr & Greg Mohr) NIGEL: Wait, hold up! How come this song don't mention the chameleon / CALYPSO: Hey man, what type a sound does a chameleon make mon / NIGEL: (Slurp) / CALYPSO: What kind of sound is that / MANU: That did not even exceed two decibels. / CALYPSO: The man thinks he's a chameleon mon / MANU: He might be green with envy, but he is not a chameleon / CALYPSO: He's not a chameleon, he's a comedian! / NIGEL: Boy, I'm not a fake, a fraud, a wannabe, or imitation / MANU: You are having a crisis of identification / NIGEL: Listen Mango, this is no counterfeit chameleon. I'm the real thing! / MANU: I'm not buying what you are selling. If you are really a Chameleon, then where are your zygodactyle feet / NIGEL: My what / CALYPSO: Your funny feet mon / MANU: You know the funny ones... that look like you have hot dogs for feet that were cut in half, & the toes bend in different directions / NIGEL: Say what / MANU: And what about the independently moveable eyeballs / NIGEL: Woy! I'm a man on a mission. Cha, I have to keep my eyes focused upon one thing at a time--no distractions / MANU: Okay then, eat that fly right this very minute / FLY: No, not me! (The fly is eaten, then spit out.) Thank you / MANU: You see what I mean / CALYPSO: You see, he has the wrong eyes & he won't eat the flies, there is something that is very wrong with this guy! / NIGEL: But I'm just not hungry! / MANU: Okay then, change your color. Go ahead / YOUTH DIRECTOR: Yeah, can you turn blue / NIGEL: Rrrr, how about this / MANU: You are still green. I tell you, I would like to see a nice periwinkle / NIGEL: I'm trying... / YOUTH DIRECTOR: What about plaid or a paisley, do chameleons do paisley / CALYPSO: Just change man / NIGEL: Rrrr... / MANU: I am not observing any changes here / NIGEL: Well, that's cause me like green, you know It's my favorite color man! / YOUTH DIRECTOR: Well it is in fashion this season / CALYPSO: Listen, you're a green iguana man--you must accept it / MANU: That is correct. And God made you that way. You should accept it, be happy & dance!